Don't Kiss me...I'm Not Irish.

I've never been quite sure what to do with St. Patrick's Day.  It's always been a very awkward holiday for me.  First of all, I'm not even sure if it should be a real holiday.  By origin, it's the feast day of St. Patrick, and having grown up at multiple Catholic schools, I appreciate that.  But man, we really go all out for this guy, don't we?  People all over Sioux City (and the rest of the country, for that matter) will deck themselves out in green, make lousy attempts to say "Kiss me, I'm Irish!" with Irish accents, and hit up local bars (where they will continue to work on those Irish accents...hopelessly).
Now, I have to admit, while the idea of these festivities seems a little bit loco (I might as well use my Spanish major for something, right?), it does sound pretty fun.  Unfortunately, after years of wondering how, exactly, I should celebrate St. Patrick's Day, I've come to the conclusion that I'm at a major disadvantage.  Here's why.

Why I Can't Celebrate St. Patrick's Day Like a Normal Person

1. My high school's main color was green.  So I can't truthfully say that I don't own any green clothing.  But in all honesty...I'm not going to wear an old, gross t-shirt that says "Homecoming 2010: In it to Win it!" unless I'm going for a jog or changing a tire or milking a cow or something. Thus, I am lacking in green for this emerald-coated day.  Strike one!
2. Not only do I have a terrible Irish accent (the only accent I really shine at is an Indian one, oddly enough), but I'm not even Irish.  I'm 25% Italian, and the rest of me comes from a bunch of other random places in Europe...but NOT Ireland.  So if anyone tries to plant one on me today, too bad for them!!!  They'll have to wait until tomorrow.  Don't kiss me...I'm not Irish.
3. I'm sure hanging out at a bar tonight would be absolutely a blast.  You don't even have to be Irish there!  The bartender doesn't judge.  However, you do have to be at least 21 (in America, anyway), and that is where I fall just two years short.  So instead, I'll probably stay on campus tonight and drink some tea.  I don't like green tea, though, so even my warm beverage won't be festive.  How unfortunate.

So there you have it.  March 17th is just destined to be weird for me.  While everyone else is embracing their inner leprechauns, I'll be sitting here, making faces at my fish.
So if you plan on going out and celebrating St. Patrick's Day tonight, enjoy it!  This day only comes once a year (luckily for me), so make the most of it.  And if you have the time, raise your glass to the lonely people all over the world who are unable to join in the festivities today.
But mostly to me.  :)